Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
