drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Randomize
