Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
So many bounce houses so little time
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
