My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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