Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
