Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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