fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
