I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
