that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
PANTIES FOUND
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
