she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
