Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
