can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
