I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
where are you?
Hypothermia
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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