I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
