New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
