Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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