can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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