can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
We are all done wearing pants today
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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