Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
