he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Just high enough for therapy.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
