I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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