is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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