And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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