dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
