Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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