the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
