dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
