why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
