In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
