is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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