brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
