All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Just pee around me
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
