Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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