so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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