fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I love having hate sex.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
