Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
