Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
BRING THE BAGELS
Randomize
