There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
