Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
