oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
