i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize