At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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