Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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