I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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