Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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