Umm I'm too high to move.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
