Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
