3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
