Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
