I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
