Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
