May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
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