SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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