Christians are straight up FREAKS
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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