it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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