just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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