Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
