Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
