DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
