She said her name was "party"
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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