Me too!
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
