Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
