it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Less talking, more tequila
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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