Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
