Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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