How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
