Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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