I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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