..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
