I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
