I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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