Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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